My name is Cindy and I an Army wife and Mom to 6. I started this blog because I am so often asked so many questions about my life, and people make so man assumptions that I figured what better way to set the record straight then to blog about it?
17 years ago I met the man of my dreams. OK, maybe not the man of my dreams, but something about him drew me to him. There is ALOT more to the story, but this is enough for now ha ha. Needless to say, we fell in love, and for the first time in my life, I was scared to say I love you. That is how I knew it was real. I was terrified to say it because what if he didn't say it back???
Fast forward several years, several moves, several jobs, and two little girls, Jim decided to join the Army. I laughed. Jim join the Army???? No way! Not Jim. He is resistant to anyone and anything that is going to tell him what to do. He wouldn't last a day in boot camp. Despite his mother and I begging him not to join, he did. Little did I know how much our world would be rocked. The recruter that signed him into contract laughed at me when I found out that Jim would be gone an additional 16 weeks longer then what he told us. 5 months of being separated, and then off to our first duty station, Hawaii!
The first three and a half years of Army life for us were hell. It started with Jim's pay being messed up, and us receiving $400 a month in pay. For months everyone was telling us that was normal! How do people pay bills on $400 a month? I suffered the first two of my three pregnancy losses while in Hawaii. We were moved into housing that was so bad, I wanted to leave the day I got to Hawaii. The house was horrid. After fighting housing, and the community and commander, they moved us out and into great housing (they condemned the old house when we were moved out!). Sadly, while there, my husbands hearing was damaged to the point that he legally needs hearing aids. He went to Hawaii with a broken wrist sustained at AIT training from another soldier attacking him, and he injured his shoulder and needed surgery. While recovering from surgery, and two weeks away from my due date with our first boy, Sept 11, 2001! Our world was changed forever.
We moved from Hawaii in 2003 with my husband needing surgery again. Since then he has had another surgery, and almost one more. I say almost because we got to Walter Reed and they decided not to do a third surgery because the surgery they were going to do on him, they had done on someone the day before and they lost all mobility in their arm.
That brings us to most currently when I was pregnant with baby number 6 and my husband left for his first deployment when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. Thankfully he was brought home a few days before my due date and, and I went 11 days over due. Giving birth to a 9 1/2 pound turkey!
I spent the next year raising 6 children by myself. The baby was in and out of the hospital, and if you can name it, it happened to us. Fires, a baby that almost died, surgery 8 months later on that same baby for something completely different. Broken heat, a water main leak, car accident, it was all happening. First deployment hell!
Thankfully we all survived, my husband came home to us, and life went on. We made it. We made it through our frst deployment!
Unfortunately a week after he got home, someone said those dreaded words.......the next deployment! Wait, he just got home, and although he did not tell me, Jim had a date for "the next deployment" before they even got back to the states.
Not even a year has passed, and my husband is leaving again. He has also been gone for a total of 2 1/2 months of training in the 10 months he has been home. By the time this deployment is over, my husband will have been home a total of 10 months in 3 years.
This is the side of the Army life that people do not see. The families left behind. What we go through is not just having a soldier away, but it is dealing with everything back home. Bills, yard work, car accidents, sick children. Tragedy. Explaining to your one year old who Daddy is. I mean why would he know who his Dad is, he was gone his whole first year. Comforting your children as they cry because Dad is missing birthdays, soccer games, first days of school. Trying to plan his R&R so that he won't be home for any child's birthday. Why because that just wouldn't be fair to all the others he was not there for. Trying to be both Mom and Dad, and stretching yourself thin so that you can be at EVERY event that ever child has so that you can't say that your children are missing out because Dad is gone. No help from family because no one is close by. No sympathy from friends because someone is always in a situation worse then yours no matter how bad your current situation is.
This is the "Secret Life of the Army Wife"
